Ten signs that I’m getting old

I just pulled open the fridge to look for a snack, and the first thing I reached for was cottage cheese. After that moment of brief excitement you get when you know your teeth won’t be needed during snack time, I got struck by a thought I’ve been having quite a bit lately.

Shit…I’m getting old.

And here’s how I know:

1. I love cardigans, because my arms get cold without one.
2. I yell at the television.
3. I like Newt Gingrich’s haircut.
4. I have given up on ever having a torso like Ryan Gosling/Bradley Cooper/Daniel Craig/whoever-the-kids-like these days, because I don’t care enough to do anything about it.
5. I don’t know who the kids like these days.
6. I think Saturdays are a good night to get some reading done.
7. I actually said “when I was your age” once.
8. I’m not embarrassed when I fart in public.
9. I get excited about slippers.
10. I only go to the barber when the hair on the back of my neck is intolerably long.

And yes, it’s been a long time between posts (Regret Nothing was keeping me blissfully occupied), but you don’t care…